A software engineers Orkut Profile!
This is a forwarded e-mail I got sometime back.
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Date: Jan 13, 2008 11:15 PM
Subject: FW: Orkut Profile of a Software Engineer
To: undisclosed-recipients
A software engineer’s Orkut Profile:
*About me*: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am
contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my
work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my
engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly,
I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok…I won’t be funny anymore. I
am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me–> "*Just
stop laughing*!!") *
Relationship Status :* *what*? Shocked *
Birthday :* The day my PL is about to fire me. *
Age :* 101111111111 *
Here for :* *web browsing* in company hours. *
Children *: can’t be (hey, *don’t get me wrong here*!!)
Ethnicity : Programmer. *
Languages I speak* : Java, C/C++, 010101110101 *
Religion* : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so *I love all
religions.
Political view *: the guy sitting beside me is a *pig!!
Humour :* weekly. *
Fashion:* Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a *cross-bag.
Smoking :* The second greatest pleasure on the earth. *
Drinking :* The first is this. *
Pets:* Yeah, *my manager looks like a dog*. Smile *
Living:* Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software
engineer? Believe me, I am living!! *
Hometown *:* My company* (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page) *
Webpage: naukri (dot) com , jobs ahead (dot) com* Isn’t it Ultimate??? *
Passions:* searching for the *cheapest pub* around, cursing my company,
looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying
about my future. *
Sports*: quake*, CS (Counter Strike), *computer chess. *
Activities:* Are you crazy? *
Books:* "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101
ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps",*
Music:* Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, *and anything depressing..
TV shows* : can’t afford one. *
Cuisines* : Bread Butter, Maggie, anything available within 200 meters of my
cubicle….
*Cell Phone: *Keep your cell Phones silent…(Don’t use rest rooms for
entertaining GF/BF)
*Work Phone: *Company phones are for internal use.(Company don’t pay you for
making personal calls…)
* Occupation: *white collar Donkey work
*Career Interests :* Management, Entrepreneurship…….(ha… ha….)
*First thing you will notice about me: *Exhausted, Fwding fwded
mails….(ha… ha…)
*Turn-on’s:* Appreciation from manager
*Turn offs: *Bugs from client side against me…..
*My idea of a perfect first date:* Me & my partner ….I am showing him/her
my bug free code….(isn’t that every developer’s dream?……
)
*Five things I cant live without: *Fwd ed mails, GTalk, Coffee , Hope for
next & good Appraisal , Hard rock music
*In my bedroom you will find: *Do you think you will find a way for sleeping
in bedroom…. I think they should have ask like this. In my cubicle you
will find……. ha ha…..
Accountant/CA Jokes
Two friends died. One a CA and another a Doctor. They reached Yamaloka.
Yamraj: You both have committed same sins and both seems to have same merits. So doctor will get 5 year in hell and CA 1.5 years hell term.
Doctor asked Yama : Why I got 3.5 years more when our sins are equal
Yamraj : CA has already served 3.5 yr hell in articleship. So he got less term.
–
Banner in front of the CA coaching centre :
“Drive slowly, don’t kill our students… leave them to us.”
–
We had many options to end our life.
Poison, Sleeping pills, Hanging,
Jump from building, Sleep under a train..
But we choose the bravest… to pursue CA.
–
Are you? :
Emotionally Numb?
Romantically Starved?
Creatively Challenged?
Artistically Void?
Socially Outcast?
Congratulations You are a CA Student!!
–
Teacher: Osama has 5 wives and 20 Children,
Laloo has a wife and 9 children. Who is better?
CA Student: Osama’s NPV is good but Laloo’s IRR is better.
–
Irritating audits, Fighting on stupid issues,
Everyday classes, Dangerous boss,
More expenditure, Less stipend,
People call it ARTICLESHIP, We call it LIFE.
–
Heated Gold becomes ornament
Beated copper becomes wire
Depleted stome become statue
And…..
Tortured Student become CA!
–
On a board before a church:
“GOD NEVER FAILS”
A C.A. student who happened to saw this writes below it
“LET HIM TRY C.A. EXAMS”
–
New poem by Satyam:
Raju Raju, Yes Papa,
Cheating us, No papa,
Telling lies, =No papa,
Open your balance sheet
ha ha ha…
–
Student at Medical Shop : I need poison
Chemist: I can’t sell you that.
(Student shows his CA books)
.
.
Chemist: Oh sorry, I didn’t know you had a prescription.
–
The CA course is very much similar to public Toilet.
Reason: People outside are desperate to come in…and people inside are dying to come out!
–
Lives will change…
Courage will be shaken…
Destiny will be chosen…
From the makers of “CPT”…
Comes the sequel…
“PCC”
Coming soon at exam hall near you… Enjoy!
–
CA vs Space Engineer Student
A CA and a Space Engineering student go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the CA wakes his Engineer friend and says:
“Look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”
The Engineer replies, “I see millions of stars.”
The CA asks, “What does that tell you?”
The Space Engineer ponders for a minute…. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three.
Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What does it tell you?
The CA sat silent for a moment, then speaks…. “Practically. ..Someone has stolen our tent, while we were sleeping”.
–
Mission Accomplished: World’s second largest oil reserve opened to the imperialists
It is fitting that today’s deadline for the withdrawal of US troops from Iraq’s cities coincides with a meeting in Baghdad to auction off some of the country’s largest oil fields to companies such as ExxonMobil, Chevron and British Petroleum.
It is a reminder of the real motives for the 2003 invasion and in whose interests over one million Iraqis and 4,634 American and other Western troops have been killed. The Iraq war was, and continues to be, an imperialist war waged by the American ruling elite for control of oil and geo-strategic advantage. [Oil and Iraq Withdrawal- WSWS]
Some interesting comments from Reddit entry
What seldom gets mentioned in discussions like this is no conspiracy or planning is necessary. This sort of thing has happened in dozens of countries all over the world starting most famously in the Hawaiian Islands. It’s called American Economic Imperialism and it’s a well-documented and studied subject, especially outside of the US and by the likes of Noam Chomsky, Naomi Klein, etc.
It goes something like this:
- US companies (or in the case of Iraq, western multinationals) have some problem doing business in a country. That is, they’re having trouble enslaving the locals and paying effective bribes to the national leadership. (In Iraq, Saddam kicked the multinationals out in 1975. That wasn’t enough because he was still politically useful, no one had the strength or political will to do anything, and there was the specter of Iran. Before Iraq War II, Saddam famously started trading oil in Euros. The first country to do so, if I remember correctly. They were invaded within months – an invasion so hastily thrown together that for years later the US was still fighting "insurgents".
- Companies complain to their respective governments, "Call a WAAAAMMMMMM-bulance! X is an evil dictator! He won’t let us enslave the locals and take all their natural resources for the price of a bribe!" These same companies might try to plant stories in the media as well in order to sway popular opinion.
- National governments – most likely democracies which make decisions based on popular opinion – decide that X is an evil dictator. Pretty soon shit is all God wined. An attack is all but inevitable at this point.
- X is Hitler! No, X is worse than Hitler! We must kill X! X’s country is invaded. X is deposed. The US (in modern times the US always leads the invasion) installs a puppet government that lets multinationals enslave the locals and take whatever resources they want for the price of a bribe. Now everyone is happy.
Of course, it’s hard to reduce this sort of thing. There were multiple financial incentives for the US to invade Iraq – not just oil.
The US, and the entire western world (see "colonialism") have a hundreds-year-old history of using their military might to force trade on other nations and to maintain economic superiority. Basic history, folks. What you’re seeing in Iraq is no different than anything European powers did during the colonial era. To not be able to see something this obvious makes me wonder if someone is completely ignorant of the basics of history, politics or economics.
For the most blatant example of US economic Imperialism, look up Admiral Perry and Japan.
With that all said, if the US wanted to stay rich, this was the best move. With Iraq selling their plentiful and cheap oil in dollars only the dollar’s reserve currency status is improved drastically. Opening up Iraq to US and international commerce is just a nice bonus. Unless you want the US to be as poor as Mexico, invading Iraq was a smart move. But please no illusions – like almost every other war ever fought, Iraq was about money. [interrogative]
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No links were present in their original articles and was added by me. Picture copied from:http://www.thewe.cc
Running Windows malware programmes in Linux in Wine
Wine is program that you can use to run some Windows applications under Uinux like OSs. Many GNU/Linux users it run unavoidable Windows software.
McAfee Avert Labs’ Lokesh Kumar did an interesting research, finding out whether it is possible to run viruses that was originally written for running in Windows in Wine windows emulator.
Although running Windows applications in Wine has its advantages, it also comes at a price: bringing Windows malware into Linux. I’m aware that it isn’t Wine’s responsibility to distinguish between a malicious and a nonmalicious file, and that Wine shouldn’t have any problem running a malicious file; however, I had this morbid curiosity to see how well today’s malware would fare running on Wine, and so began an experiment ……
My intial thought was that it won’t rune perfectly. I based my assumption that Wine is not good for running all Windows softwares, we can run only minimal ones there.
But, how wrong I was.
Three times the malware ran, as it should, under native Windows. At one time it failed also.
He also gives some tips that you can use to prevent anything like this happening to you, but I believe the chances are minimal..
Weather and History
Here it started the monsoon on 29th of the last month. I’ve completed my school education, but the memories are still with me. Especially the effect weather have on us, children that go to school, extra tuition classes etc. So the weather conditions have effect over even simple life of me. So, I was not really surprised to think about its effects on the course of history, but it surely was very interesting.
A number of ways come to mind. The drought that affected the Middle East brought the Akkadian Empire of Sargon and Naram Sin to an end 2250 BCE. Carpenter has shown that the Bronze Age civilisations collapsed as a result of weather perturbations and that this seems to be associated with the stories of Joseph and Moses – pretty significant.
The Medieval Warming Period saw yields in Western Europe peak – with the surplus going into Cathedral building at that period. Alternatively the Little Ice Age, begriming with the Mongol Invasions, saw plague returning to Western Europe and killing 1/2 to 1/3rd of the population. [Amazon Discussions]
That’s just for starters. Wait to we see the coming climate change that may kill 6 + billion people, then we will know the answer to the question. Food riots are already prevalent in 34 nations. Unless something drastic is done to stop this, the we are cranking the gears just too fast, to hell.
Teen Decomposes Plastic Bag in Three Months
Non-degradable nature of plastic is causing a lot of environmental problems around the world. But, it is nearly impossible to ban plastic, as it have so many uses. If plastic can be decomposed it will be a great invention for a big problem. A 16 year old innovative school goer in the U.S has derived a way to do that. His find will help us to reduce the decomposition time of plastic from millions of years to just 3 months. That is initial results, I believe it can be reduced further under industrial production if further R&D is invested.
How is plastic decomposed? The factor that is responsible for the decomposition of bacteria is bacteria.
The Waterloo, Ontario high school junior figured that something must make plastic degrade, even if it does take millennia, and that something was probably bacteria.
(Hey, at between one-half and 90 percent of Earth’s biomass, bacteria’s a pretty safe bet for any biological mystery.)
The Record reports that Burd mixed landfill dirt with yeast and tap water, then added ground plastic and let it stew. The plastic indeed decomposed more quickly than it would in nature; after experimenting with different temperatures and configurations, Burd isolated the microbial munchers. One came from the bacterial genus Pseudomonas, and the other from the genus Sphingomonas.
Burd says this should be easy on an industrial scale: all that’s needed is a fermenter, a growth medium and plastic, and the bacteria themselves provide most of the energy by producing heat as they eat. The only waste is water and a bit of carbon dioxide.
Amazing stuff. I’ll try to get an interview with this young man who may have managed to solve one of the most intractable environmental dilemmas of our time. And I can’t help but wonder whether his high school already had its prom. If he doesn’t get to be king, there’s no justice in this world. [1]
- Teen Decomposes Plastic Bag in Three Months, Brandon Keim
